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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24170770">Fleeting Eyes &amp; Dark Pools</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliverasaurus/pseuds/Oliverasaurus'>Oliverasaurus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Kingdom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, No Beta, Slow Burn, Violence, the boys are Gay, too much pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:01:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24170770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliverasaurus/pseuds/Oliverasaurus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sihtric goes missing Finan starts to worry, and realize how truly important Sihtric is to him.<br/>How will they find him? What will happen between them?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finan/Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a long time since the group had been at real peace, they were happy. They decided to have a night of drinking. Sihtric was just going out for a piss break, fairly drunk, when a sharp hit to the back of the head knocked him unconscious. </p><p>The group obviously noticed his absence, but it wasn’t unlike him to go with a woman for the night. Even when Finan’s heart pounded for him, he chose to ignore it. They were drunk, before they knew it morning had come and Sihtric was still nowhere to be found. Finan’s worry increased, so he asked Osferth. “Have ya seen Sihtric? Can’t find the arse anywhere.” </p><p>Osferth thought for a second but then came to a logical resolution, “He’s probably just watching the gates, hidden away. He’ll be fine Finan.” It seemed like a perfectly normal thing for Sihtric, he did it quite often. So he didn’t think much of it. Until the next morning, normally the man would be in his bed, but he wasn’t. It had been a day and a half since anyone had seen Sihtric, Finan decided it was time for him to go to Uhtred and ask him to help look for him. It wasn’t like Sihtric to not tell anyone where he was. </p><p>On the way to find Uhtred, Finan ran into Osferth. “Finan? What is it?” The young monk asked the question sarcastically but still had a tone of suspicion in his voice. Finan quickly told him how something seemed off, wrong, so they were going to find Uhtred. It took a little while but they ended up finding him in the food hall. </p><p>“Lord Uhtred, none of us have seen Sihtric in days. I believe something has happened to him. I think we should look for him.” Finan tried to portray calmness but it seemed to seek out of his heart. He was terrified, he had lost people before but the thought of Sihtric. It was unbearable. </p><p>“He’s a big boy, are you sure you have not seen him Finan? What about you Osferth?” Both of the men shook their heads, neither of which had seen him. Finan starting to get slightly agitated. “Alright then, calm down. We will look for him, where did we see him last?” The three discussed where and when they had seen the man. </p><p>Finan couldn’t figure out why his heart hurt so much, he cared for his brother in arms but that was all he was, right? He pushed the thoughts out of his head and started his search. He looked in every back way and alley, each and every building. When he couldn’t find Sihtric anywhere he started asking.</p><p>“Have you seen a Dane? He has a long braid down his head, he has dark eyes, wears a necklace with the hammer of Thor?” Each and every time he described the man to someone new, they said they hadn’t seen him. And every time he got nothing, his heart broke just a little more. The day was almost over already and Uhtred declared they would search at first light. They would look at all the surrounding land. </p><p>Finan took a cup of ale and closed his eyes, he thought of Sihtric. How much he depended on him, how they would joke with each other and the baby monk. He thought of his necklace, the hammer of Thor. How it rested on his strong chest, he thought of his braids, his small beard and the dark coloring surrounding his eyes. His eyes, he thought if the dark pools. Finan then pictured Sihtric, where he could be. Where were those dark eyes? Was he hiding someplace? Or did he slip in the rain the other night, and get caught somewhere. Had someone taken him? Was he all alone dying? Was he dead? An image of Sihtric bloodied and bruised taken by men and tortured. </p><p>At that Finan opened his eyes, he looked into the nearly empty cup of ale and drank the rest of it. He put the cup onto the table just a little to hard. Osferth looked up at him, since when had Osferth been there? That’s when he saw it, a braid down the back of a head. He stood up and nearly ran to the man, he grabbed his shoulder. The man turned and looked at him, at that moment Finan recognized the man was much larger, broader, there was no necklace on this man. He looked up at the man, the man he though was his Sihtric, and into the blue eyes of this man. The man who was not his Sih- who was not Sihtric.  </p><p>Osferth came at just that moment and assured the man that Finan was just drunk, even though they both knew he had only had one drink and was truly so worried for Sihtric that he was imagining things. The man backed down and the pair left to sleep. Finan wasn’t thinking of anything except his eyes, Sihtric’s dark brown eyes, the beautiful dark pools, surrounded in dark color. He was snapped out of his thoughts by Osferth’s voice, he had clearly been trying to get the mans attention for a few minutes. “Finan! You need sleep. If we want to find Sihtric, we need our energy.”  Osferth told him to lie down and get some sleep. </p><p>Finan tried, he really did but every time he closed his eyes, thinking of every bad thing that could have happened to Sihtric. All of the pain he could be in, or how he could be dead. Before he knew it the sun was peeking in. Had he slept at all? He closed his eyes once more, wishing for even an ounce of rest, but when he closed his eyes he saw the image again, but this time it was Kjartan. He had Sihtric before him, on his knees, blade to his throat. Kjartan! The man must have sent men to take Sihtric, who else would take him without even trying for Uhtred? If Kjartan received Sihtric he would kill him, slowly. At that Finan bolted upwards and started getting ready. </p><p>Osferth woke to the noise, he immediately remembered what was going on and started getting ready himself. He knew how important this was, how important Sihtric was. Especially to Finan, he couldn’t say he hadn’t noticed the looks between them. His whole life he had been looked at, never like that, but he had learned to read looks. He could practically see the stiffness and worry radiating from Finan. Something was off, more off than before. He must have figured something out, but he chose not to press, he’d learn eventually.</p><p>So he got up and readied, when both Finan and himself were ready they went to meet Uhtred and the other joining them in the search. When they got there Finan spoke to Uhtred, he said he believed it was Kjartan, that he must have sent men to take Sihtric. Not only would that bring Uhtred to him, but it would also mean he could take out some anger on his bastard son, the son who betrayed him to join his worst enemy. That must have been what he had figured out, why he was so stiff. If Kjartan gained possession of Sihtric not only would he beat him but there was nothing stopping him from killing him. </p><p>Uhtred agreed with Finan that it must have been Kjartan. There was no one else who could have taken him. The group packed quickly. It only took them an hour or more. The group was told to say their goodbyes. Finan wanted to talk to Hild, he figured she would be in the church. When he got there she was kneeling, quietly whispering to herself and god. She was a wonderful lady, Finan made himself known. Nicely saying good morning and apologized for breaking her peace. </p><p>“It’s completely fine, Finan. What is it you need? I believe you must want something of me.” She was a very smart woman, and she knew that. Along with the men she associated with. What Finan responded with surprised her, but just slightly.</p><p>“Hild, would you pray for him?”They both knew who he was talking about, there was no need to specify. Hild had found out last night from Osferth that they could not find Sihtric, and that is was very troubling to Finan. But she was not prepared for Finan to ask her to pray for Sihtric. </p><p>She was proud of him. Finan was a Christian, this she knew, but he was anything but devoted. The Irishman wore a cross at all times but she had only seen him at the church on a few occasions. </p><p>Hild looked at Finan, she could tell something was between him and Sihtric, even if they hadn’t figured it out yet. Sihtric was a very good spy, which made him very good at sneaking glances. He would look at Finan often, always checking up on him. Even during battle the men would always keep each other in eyesight, occasionally they would make a face or stick their tongues out to the other. “Of course, Finan, but I have to ask. What do you think has happened?” </p><p>“I believe Kjartan, Sihtric’s father has sent men to capture him. It would mean Uhtred would have more reason to come, and he could…” Finan trailed off, not wanting to think let alone talk about Sihtric and what Kjartan would do to him, what he could be doing at this very moment. </p><p>Hild didn’t know what to say, of course she knew Sihtric was in trouble but if Finan couldn’t talk about it. That would mean it was worse than she thought it was. “I’m sorry, Finan. I was unaware how bad this truly was.” Hild tried to comfort the man subtly. </p><p>“Don’t fret about it my Lady! I will bring him back, the arse can’t get away from me. That easily.” Finan tried to joke but then remembered he shouldn’t curse in the church. By the look on Hild’s face she was mixed between anger and laughter. Finan cocked a grin and the two of them burst out laughing. They said their goodbyes, Hild promised to keep Sihtric in her prayers, but she also asked Finan to do so too. </p><p>The band of merry-men met at the stables with whatever they needed. It was nearly ten, they needed to leave soon to catch up with Kjartans men. Hoping that it was in fact Kjartan who took him. The men rode out and started their journey, promising themselves to not stop looking until the found him. </p><p>Uhtred led the group with Finan close beside him, Osferth was slightly behind them. The three would normally have been talking or joking, but without the fourth man, without Sihtric, it didn’t feel right. Finan’s eyes were set straight ahead of them occasionally flitting across the tree line. </p><p>That morning when he had realized it was Kjartan who had taken Sihtric he had only thought of telling and convincing Uhtred, but now when he got that out of the way his head was full of Sihtric. Every moment was filled with eyes, his hair, even that necklace. Finan had been Christian his whole life, but he respected the Danes, he respected the group of merry men that shared that faith. But it was not his own, he had never been very devout, but in that moment he prayed, just like Hild had said to do. He prayed for God to protect Sihtric, for him to keep him alive, he prayed for their reunion. </p><p>Uhtred occasionally would look over at Finan, the Irishman was worried. Of course Uhtred himself was worried for Sihtric, he had grown to care very much so for the man, for all the men in his group, but when he looked at Finan. He could tell it was a different type of worry, he couldn’t quite sure if Finan himself could even tell. The next time Uhtred looked over at Finan he recognized that the man looked slightly angry.</p><p>“What is wrong, my friend?” Uhtred asked, trying to keep his voice low not to involve anyone unnecessary. Finan heisted for a second before responding. </p><p>“We wasted so much time, so many hours. We played it off, I played it off, and now...” he trailed off for a second, his eyes grazing over the tree line as it had done many times before during their search. “Now, Uhtred, he might be dead. I should have realized it was suspicious, he keeps to himself but he always lets us know. I should have known goddamn it!” He let out a frustrated huff and petted his horse, trying to calm her down, agitated from his anger. “I should have known.” </p><p>“Finan, we will find him. Alive, we’ll find him alive. And we will kill every bastard who helped take him. I promise you that, we will not abandon him.” Finan kept his eyes toward the ground. He knew Uhtred would not let Sihtric die if he could help it, he knew he wouldn’t abandon Sihtric. Finan finally looked up and met Uhtred’s eyes, he could see the honesty and loyalty in them. They rode on, they would find Sihtric. Finan would find Sihtric, even if it was the last thing he’d do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group had been riding for about a day and a half when they saw a small camp, maybe fifteen or twenty men. There was a few small tents and then two larger tents towards the center. A small fire was outside in front of one of the larger tents. Just then Uhtred saw a familiar blond haired, one eyed man. </p><p>“It’s them, there’s Sven.” Uhtred said quietly to Osferth and Finan. The three were huddled behind a few bushes, they quickly went back to the group and informed them of the plan.</p><p>They would wait until nightfall, first thing they had to do was find Sihtric. Uhtred would take a group and search a few of the smaller tents and keep watch while Finan and Osferth would look for Sihtric in the larger tents. A small group of men were to wait until the others were discovered and then to charge. No one mentioned what they would do if Sihtric was not there or alive. </p><p>Finan feared what he would find in those tents, would Sihtric be dead? Beaten so badly he was as good as? What if he wasn’t even there? What would he do then, where would he look? He shook the thoughts out of his head, they would save Sihtric. He would save Sihtric. </p><p>After they explained the plan to the men it only took an hour or two for the sun to fade from the sky. Finan and Osferth readied themselves. When night came and the moon came out the groups split and went full force. Uhtreds group went around the back while the pair slipped through to the first large tent. </p><p>Finan went in first and Osferth directly after, inside were three men. Finan slit the first two’s throats as Osferth guided his sword to the third man’s. Then they asked “Where is the hostage?” The man didn’t answer “Where is the hostage! I will not ask again!” Finan was close to yelling but knew if he did they would be caught. The man spat at Finan. At that moment his vision blurred red as he grabbed the man and brought him close to him, shoving him into his blade. </p><p>Finan was very close to this, he had so much rage for these people. They had taken Sihtric and he could may as well be dead. He hadn’t even realized how angry he was before. </p><p>They carefully sneaked out of the tent just as Uhtred’s group must have been discovered. The pair nodded towards each other and made their way into the second large tent. Right before they entered Sven ran out, hearing the call of his men. Blinded by idiotic rage he ran right past Finan and Osferth. Finan almost went after him, wanting to kill him, but the Baby Monk’s arm on his elbow stopped him. Suddenly remembering Sihtric was most likely in this tent.</p><p>They rushed the tent, when they ran in there was a guard at the door, Finan easily killed the man. The other guard was not as easily taken, as he realized why they were there. </p><p>His blade rested upon Sihtric’s throat, he quickly voiced “Do not move, or I will not hesitate to slice his throat.” At that both Osferth and Finan stopped moving. Finan’s eyes finally looked to Sihtric, his clothes were in bad shape but he looked relatively alright, other than his face which had a few small bruises. As Sihtric’s eyes met Finan’s they could see a look of relief but as soon as it had come it was gone. The brief moment was broken as Finan looked back up to the guard. </p><p>His head pounded with fleeting thoughts. Sihtric was alive, physically he seemed alright but when they locked eyes, he could see the brokenness beneath them, beneath his beautiful dark pools. There was a small cut in his lower lip, he wanted to stare at the man until every inch of his face was memorized, not that it already wasn’t. That wasn’t important right now, if he wasn’t careful there would be a not so small cut in Sihtric’s throat. “How ‘bout we make a deal? You give him to us and we let you live.” The request was simple, but still dangerous. </p><p>The man hesitated, he looked straight into Finan’s eyes, which gave Sihtric the moment he needed to snatch the small knife, from the dead guards pocket, without being seen. Osferth gently tapped his foot against Finan’s, letting him know something changed. And all at once Finan and Sihtric attacked, without even looking at each other. The guard went down pretty simply, Sihtric slicing at the back of his ankles while Finan stabbed into his shoulder. The whole moment had felt like time had stopped, and now it was catching back up. </p><p>Osferth went to work cutting the ropes binding Sihtric. Finan finally caught his breath, knowing Sihtric wasn’t dead, and he was close enough that no one could take him away again. The three ran out of the tent and joined the fight, or what was left of it. Sven and a few men had fled, the rest were killed. They took one of Svens remaining horses for Sihtric and then they went on their way back to the town. Not Osferth or Finan asked Sihtric what had happened, not even Uhtred. It would be shared but not now. Not as they were all as tired as they were. </p><p>————</p><p>As they were riding back Finan’s head was filled with thoughts, what had they done to Sihtric, why did his eyes tell him that he was broken, was he? Each and every thought in his head was about Sihtric, but somehow he hadn’t been paying attention to the real Sihtric, the one falling off his horse. Quickly Finan told Uhtred to stop so he could help, but what he wasn’t prepared for was being told to have Sihtric ride with him, on his horse. Together. Any other time both would have loudly opposed, but Sihtric was much too tired, and did not feel like falling off his horse to say no. And truth be told Finan, he didn’t really mind, that in itself was troubling to him, but he didn’t object. So Osferth and Uhtred hoisted the man onto the horse, directly in front of Finan. The two got back onto their horses, they waited for a few moments, for Finan and Sihtric to find a comfortable position. </p><p>At first Finan froze, not knowing what to do, is he alright being touched? What if he’s repulsed by me? What am I thinking? It’s Sihtric, he trusts me, right? “I’m going to reach round you, to grab the reins.” Finan didn’t want to be loud or harsh, so he spoke in the softest voice he could muster. Sihtric nodded his head slightly, giving Finan an okay without words. </p><p>At some point Sihtric must have fallen asleep, as his head fell softly on Finan’s chest. He wanted to touch his face, he wanted Sihtric to want to be in his arms. But he didn’t, that wasn’t what this was. He was helping his friend because that’s what they were, friends. Sihtric was allowing this because he was half asleep and not thinking straight. </p><p>Uhtred decided they would stop, it was nearly night time and they were all exhausted. They still had about a half day of riding to do, they put down 4 tents. One would go to Osferth and Uhtred, one to Finan and Sihtric, and the other two would go to the remaining 5 men. It took a small while to get things set up and wood chopped for a fire, but when it was done things were well. </p><p>The men all sat around the fire for a small while, Sihtric had slept most of the ride but was still tired. He had not said anything since they had saved him, not one word. It worried Uhtred and Osferth but more than them it worried Finan. He knew Sihtric the best out of anyone, they were almost always right beside each other, making jokes, drinking ale. He worried for a moment if they had cut off his tongue! So a few minutes after Sihtric went to their tent, Finan followed. </p><p>As he walked to the tent, he decided he would ask. So when he got there he loudly, but still softly called “Sihtric, if you’re awake, might I come inside?” A noncommittal grunt was heard from inside, allowing him in. At first Finan said nothing, as he had walked in he realized how small this tent was, but then he remembered his question. “Are you alright?” No response. “Sihtric, talk to me. Please.” Sihtric slowly turned around, that’s when Finan noticed his braids, or the lack there of. </p><p>Finan went to move forward to touch the man’s hair, it was longer than he had thought, he wondered if it was soft. He then realized what he was doing, he stopped. Sihtric looked up, he didn’t meet his eyes though. “Sihtric... what, what did they do to you?” Finan’s words were direct, as soon as they left his mouth, he regretted them. He hadn’t meant to push it on him to answer, he wanted to give him time. </p><p>“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me.” Finan said as quietly as he could. He wanted to know, but only if Sihtric was ready. Part of him expected Sihtric to say it was fine and tell him everything, but he didn’t. What he did do, was even more than he could have hoped. </p><p>“You know, I knew if someone would have been the one to find me, it would be you.” Sihtric looked up, still not quite meeting Finan’s eyes. He rested his eyes on Finan’s chest, “I knew Uhtred would come for me, but I knew you would be the one to free me.” Finan didn’t know what to say, did Sihtric want it to be him? And oh had he missed the man’s voice, even with it cracking from the lack of use.</p><p>“I could never leave you Sihtric,” Finan looked at Sihtric’s dark pools, wishing he would look back into his, “I would have never stopped searching.” Sihtric looked up this time, finally meeting Finan’s eyes. Time seemed to stop again, both of the men getting lost in each other’s eyes, pools of darkness. They seemed to be getting closer, physically. Finan reached upwards, slowly, to touch Sihtric’s hair. Just as he was about to cup his face, feel his hair, his skin. A loud crash. </p><p>The moment broken, the men pushed apart. They turned to the door, Sihtric looked at Finan, but they did not meet eyes. Not this time. </p><p>Finan grabbed his sword silently, Sihtric did the same. They slowly walked outside, at first they saw no one. But then a heave, they turned to see Osferth, drunk out of his mind. “Baby Monk! You scared us.” Finan was both relieved and angry. </p><p>On one hand, he avoided a great mistake, Sihtric and him were both not thinking clearly, right? They would have regretted that, it was wrong, a sin. He should go to the church when they got to the town, he should pray for forgiveness. But he was also angry, secretly even to himself in a way. They were having a moment and he would never get to see what it could have been, had it not been broken.</p><p>Finan spoke to Osferth and helped him get to his tent safely. He made the boy get into his bed and went to sleep. Even drunk Osferth was relatively kind, most definitely the easiest drunk person Finan had the pleasure of taking care of. </p><p>He made his way back to the tent he shared with Sihtric. What was happening between them? Finan thought of the man in Ireland killed for sleeping with another man, how he was told it was wrong his whole life. But now here he was wishing to kiss Sihtric! It was wrong, wasn’t it?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hiiiii thanks for reading! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m sorry this took me forever to post! I hope you all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finan walked through the opening of the tent, he had stepped out for a piss break. When he looked around everything was destroyed, the furs ripped to shreds, the fire smoking, and blood everywhere. He immediately started looking for Sihtric, there was no sight of him in the tent so he went back outside. All the tents were ravaged, torn and smoking. There was blood splattered on the ground and tents, the horses were in a pile, soaked in the sticky red substance. </p><p>He ran through the small camp, bodies of his friends littering the ground, he had yet to see Uhtred or Osferth. Finan went to their tent, the same tent he had taken the Baby Monk to just hours before. He hesitated before going in, fearful of what he’d see. When he gained the courage to go in, it was worse than he could have ever imagined. </p><p>Time stopped again. Uhtred was bound and a knife at his throat, Sven was standing over Osferth, plunging a knife into his stomach over and over. Sihtric was mangled, lying in the corner, covered in blood. Finan felt his stomach plunge, time came rushing back. </p><p>He could hear the knife going into Osferth, his eyes resting on Finan’s. Words tumbled out of his mouth but Finan couldn’t hear them. After a second his eyes fluttered shut and Sven slowed to a stop. In a brash moment, Finan rushed forward and tackled Sven to the ground. It was a bad move, the Irishman had no weapon while the Dane had a knife. That’s when he heard it. </p><p>“Finan stop! Finan! Finan!” The voice cut through and he was suddenly shook awake. “Finan!” He opened his eyes. Sihtric, the man kneeled beside him, shaking him gently. Their eyes met, Sihtric sat back giving the Irishman space</p><p>“Wha-what in Gods name is going on?” Finan sat up, processing. It was all a nightmare. He looked over at Sihtric, eyes fleeting over the man. He was no longer covered in blood, he wasn’t necessarily clean but not the way he looked before. Not like he did in that horrible dream, was it a dream?</p><p>The man was still not thinking very clearly, which was made quite obvious when he started to physically look Sihtric over for the cuts he had seen in his nightmare. Needing to know if he was really alright. When he touched his stomach Sihtric groaned before he realized what he was doing. At that Finan grabbed the hem of the other man’s shirt and lifted.</p><p>His stomach was covered in sickly purple and green bruises. They trailed to his collarbones and around his sides. Sihtric pushed the man’s hands away and pulled his shirt back down. He stood up and walked back to his side of the tent. Finan reeled. </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me? That they did that?” Finan imposed, not as gently as he wanted to. His head flooded with thoughts of how much he wanted to kill the bastards who did this. </p><p>“It wasn’t important.” The man said it quietly, as if he honestly thought it was true. Finan started at him, trying to get his beautiful dark pools to stare back into his own. </p><p>“What do you mean it wasn’t important? If it’s a part of you, it’s important! Do you think we wouldn’t have gone to find you if you weren’t important? Do you think Uhtred would have let Sven go as easily if he saw that? Did you think that I just wouldn’t care about that? Your in pain, I can see it!” Finan was full blown out yelling now, but he didn’t even care! “Sihtric, you are the most important person in the world to me, did you honestly think that your health wasn’t important enough to tell me?” His voice was suddenly much softer.</p><p>The other man stayed silent. He did, he thought he wasn’t important. Sihtric’s mother was a slave, which meant even though Kjartan was his father, Sihtric was born a slave. He was raised like he was nothing. </p><p>When Sihtric was still young his mother was killed for treason. Kjartan thought she was trying to poison him, whether or not she was, she was killed. Leaving Sihtric with no one left to love him. </p><p>“Sihtric, you might not believe me, but I care for you.” Finan said the words quietly, afraid of the response to them. He cares for Sihtric, much more than he wanted to admit. </p><p>“Finan, tell me your not saying that as I think you are,” Sihtric didn’t want his hopes to go up, not if the man wasn’t thinking the same as himself. He couldn’t stand to lose this man, he was his best friend, his confidant, he was the man who would always rescue him. He couldn’t lose him. </p><p>“And what if I am? What is it that you think I’m saying?”<br/>
Finan had to know it wasn’t just him, that he wasn’t overthinking things. Did Sihtric feel the same way he did? Was it a road they could even go down? What would their friends say, would they disown them for their sin? </p><p>Sihtric stuttered he was afraid of what would come out of his mouth. “What do you want me to say?” The men looked into each other’s eyes, they were no longer yelling. It was not a fight anymore, it was one of the most important conversations they had ever had. This conversation could make or break everything. </p><p>“I want you to say that you…” Finan stopped short, what did he want Sihtric to say? “I want you to say that you understand. That we won’t just forget about this.” He didn’t need Sihtric to tell him that he cared for him, he wanted him too, but only if he truly wanted to. </p><p>“We won’t forget about this…” The two mens eyes finally met, the dark pools collided. Neither of them knew where they stood with each other, but they’d figure it out with time. </p><p>—————</p><p>The group packed their tents back up and got moving in the early hours of the morning. They wanted to get home quickly mostly for a nice warm dinner. Everyone loaded up onto their horses, this time Sihtric in his own. Uhtred was in front flanked by Sihtric, Osferth and Finan behind them. </p><p>The four were quiet at first but after a while of awkward silence, Finan’s voice rang out. “So how about some ale when we get home?” The group cheered at the thought. They were all in need of something good and warm. After that they all joked along, Sihtric stayed mainly silent, still recovering from the past few days, he still had yet to tell anyone what exactly had happened. Occasionally he would speak up and add a comment or two.  </p><p>The group arrived back in Cookham in the late afternoon, they were welcomed by many people, including Gisela and Hild. The group had their horses taken to the stables to be fed and watered. Uhtred was showered in hugs and kisses, mostly from his wife but also his son and daughter. Hild went to Sihtric first, she touched his face and hugged him softly, she then whispered something in his ear. They both smiled. </p><p>After she and Sihtric broke apart she went to Finan. Hild grabbed his hands and brought them together around his cross, she then said “God is good. We prayed and he answered.” The two put their heads together, Finan had grown to call Hild one of his closest friends. </p><p>“God is good my lady.” Finan said quietly only for Hild to hear, not because he was ashamed of God, but because this praise was theirs. They had both prayed to him, for Sihtric to be well and alive, and he was. </p><p>“Have you two talked yet?” Finan nodded at this, they had talked. He wanted to know more, how the man felt, what happened, what could he do, but they had talked. “That’s good, now you have to tell him.” Finan looked up quickly, she knew! How had she known? Hild kept her eyes closed but said, “Stop looking at me like that, it’s not hard to figure out. Not if your looking.” </p><p>“Bloody hell, women are truly amazing,” Finan didn’t know how exactly she knew but he guessed it had something with her being a woman. “I swear to God you could be a great seer.” The two laughed and pulled apart “Thank you, Hild. For praying for him. And for giving me courage. You are a blessing.” </p><p>——————</p><p>Later that night the men were all gathered around in the tavern, drinking ale, laughing, and singing. The room was bursting with life, even Sihtric had cracked a smile or two. Everyone was happy, even if it wasn’t much it was good. </p><p>Finan and Sihtric were very close, they had been since right after they met. The two men had clicked almost immediately, which meant they shared many things. One of these things was a home, the two men both said it was because they were just good friends. They both believed the other thought that, neither of them actually thought that. </p><p>The two each had their own bed and room but the still lived in the same home. Osferth had stayed with them for a time but eventually moved out to his own home. Some people thought it was odd one of them didn’t move out but they tried to dispose of the thought. Neither of them really wanted to live apart. </p><p>When the men were finally ready to go to bed Finan was very drunk. Sihtric helped him to their house and brought him to his bed. He helped him sit down and take his shoes off. Then his weapons, next his outer armor. When he was ready and tucked into his bed, when Sihtric was just about to leave and close the door Finan asked a question quietly. </p><p>“Stay… stay with me.” Sihtric opened the door more, he looked at him questioning if his ears had deceived him. “Wha-what did you say?” Sihtric asked the question quietly, unsure if the Irishman has actually said anything. </p><p>“I said stay,” Finan looked right into Sihtric’s eyes, the dark pools he loved so. “Stay with me, please.” The man no longer sounded drunk, though he was. </p><p>Sihtric hesitates for a moment, still looking into the other man's eyes. After a moment he said softly, “Ok…” He moved slowly, he went to the other side of Finland bed. First he kneeled and sat on the bed before finally swinging his legs onto the bed. He laid down, still on top of the blankets. </p><p>It took a moment or two before he got comfortable, but after he relaxed and closed his eyes, he smiled. He was laying beside Finan. His best friend, the man who he wished was more, the man who he wished had asked him this when he was sober. </p><p>Gods he wished Finan had asked him this while he was sober. The Irishman’s breathing has evened out, Sihtric assumes he had fallen asleep, so he turned on his side facing the other man. He was surprised to see Finan looking at him, he wasn’t asleep, he was admiring him. Finan’s eyes slowly closed and he drifted to sleep, Sihtric did the same.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really appreciate all the kind words of support and love! I’m sorry it’s taking me so much time to write, but I hope you enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had started building in the late spring. Finan, being Uhtred's second in command and closest companion, had gotten the resources to make a home. Uhtred had given the Irishman a decently sized plot of land, it included a small to medium sized harvesting field, and a hill with a trail to it, which was where his house was to be built. </p><p>The plot was most definitely beautiful, when the sun rose and set each day, the sky was filled with golden light. There were a few trees and bushes near the trail and the hill, which made a certain someone quite happy. The trees were good for climbing and a few even grew apples. </p><p>After just two or three weeks of building the entire frame had been assembled and set into place. There was a nice rock foundation and the walls we’re almost completely up. They would next finish the roof which made Finan prove to be quite bad at balancing on the support beams. Osferth and Sihtric found this quite funny considering his nickname of ‘Finan the Agile’.</p><p>By the time mid-summer came along the exterior of the entire house was finished, this meant most of the time it was just a few people working. Finan was not only a highly known person in the town but also a war hero. This made people want to know him and get on his good side. The Irishman was very grateful to all the townsfolk who helped build his house, but he would say with ease he enjoyed it more when it was just him and his closest companions. </p><p>During one of those days when it was just the four the sun was setting, the golden hue illuminating everything in sight. They were all working on the interior, Finan had wanted a home big enough for a guest, a master bedroom and a few other things. Uhtred and Osferth has decided to retire for the night and said their goodbyes. Sihtric was slightly different. </p><p>Finan and Sihtric had been fighting for a few minutes over weather Finan’s room should be the slightly larger room or the room closer to the fireplace. Secretly Finan wanted Sihtric to move into the other room. It was then that Sihtric asked, “Why does the other room need to be so nice?” </p><p>Finan was dreading this question, he knew it would come but he still wasn’t prepared for it. “I just want the lad to be comfortable!” That wasn’t what he wanted, he was supposed to tell Sihtric it needed to be nice so he would want to move into it. </p><p>“Who are you trying to get to stay here? Why must you make it so comfortable for someone who isn’t staying?”<br/>
Sihtric knew that the bed and furs coming for the room were nice, both rooms would be extremely comfortable. The question had been floating in his head for days. It made him slightly jealous, was Finan trying to impress someone? </p><p>The question had finally come and Finan knew it was time. He had to ask him now. It was now or never. “I was thinkin’ you’d want to stay. You don’t have to of course, but if you’d want to...” Finan looked up to try and figure out what he could gather from Sihtric’s expression. He was terrified, the man could easily say no. There was no real reason he would want to continue staying at the lowly inn the men had been living in for months, but he could. </p><p>Sihtric has never been good with words, he hadn’t talked much in his childhood, especially after his mother died. He stuttered trying to figure out the right way to phrase his sentence. “You mean you want me to stay here? You mean only until I get permission and land from Uhtred to build my own,” he was internally hoping the man would say he wanted him to stay permanently. “That is what you mean, correct?” </p><p>Finan was slightly taken back, was that what Sihtric wanted? To only stay until he had is own home? If that was what he wanted, then he’d let him. “If that’s what you want lad, you can stay as long as you’d like,” Finan smiled at the Dane, he enjoyed spending time with him. So he’d take as much as he could get. “You’ve worked just as much if not more than I, you deserve a proper place.”</p><p>Sihtric looked at him, taking the man in. He was happy, he could stay as long as he liked. He doubted that the man truly meant that, but he was happy it was said, so he smiled and nodded. </p><p>They finished the interior designs together. It was important to Finan to have a place to cook and keep food. He was surprisingly quite good at cooking, considering the way he was raised. Just as the kitchen was important to Finan, Sihtric put different types of crystals and runes all over the place. </p><p>The two men were very different in their religions, Finan was a Christian, not very extreme but it still was important to him. Sihtric even though his mother a Saxon, was raised a Dane. Meaning he believed in the Norse religion, so he explained how it was important to keep runes in and around your home, to protect you. </p><p>By the end of summer, early fall, the entire house was built and furnished. The Dane and Irishman had both moved in completely and even though they had their disagreements, they enjoyed living in the home together. They made a habit of taking at least one day out of the week to get together at sunset. They didn’t normally talk, just sat there and watched. </p><p>Occasionally one of the men would turn, not enough for the other to notice, and look at the other. They  bathed in the warm honey glow. Both of the men had grown to care very much for the other, neither of them noticed. </p><p>—————-</p><p>Finan woke up first, at first he was confused as to why Sihtric has ended up in his bed. He quickly looked under the covers, they were both still clothed. He couldn’t decide if that was something he wanted or not. Either way Sihtric was fast asleep, on his chest and his arm was draped across the man pulling him closer. </p><p>Finan wanted to say that it was awful, that he hated it and it made him throw away everything he worried he felt for the other man. But he didn’t, he couldn’t. The entire thing made his heart burst with joy, he didn’t dare let the man out of his grip. Finan wanted to go back to sleep, his head pounded with a hangover, but instead he watched the man on his chest. Quietly he admired the Dane, wanting to spend every morning for the rest of his life like this. </p><p>Sihtric was half Dane and half Saxon, he had a nightly ritual which he inherited from his mother. He would take a water basin and a cloth first washing his eyes, taking off the dark coloring he put around them every morning. Next he washed the rest of his face, and then taking his hands he combed through and cleaned his facial hair. He undid and re-braided his hair. </p><p>It was a special thing to braid someone else’s hair, normally you, your lover, or possibly a sibling would do it. With the act of braiding the hair, taking it out was also special. If someone pulled your braids out forcibly, it was a large deal to the person. It was a sign of strength, to have braids, an extension of the person. An enemy would pull them out to shame you, show you're not as strong as you thought. </p><p>Finan had noticed in the tent the night before Sihtric’s braids were missing. He hadn’t noticed how long the hair was before. Sihtric had yet to put the braids back in, it worried Finan. </p><p>Finan realized while staring at that Sihtric still had the dark coloring surrounding his eyes. It made him think, why did Sihtric not get ready for bed? Which in turn made him remember bits of last night. How he had asked the Dane to stay with him. He was extremely drunk, which gave him the courage to ask. But the idea was not new, he had thought about it much too often. Asking the Dane to stay the night in his bed. </p><p>There was never a chance, winter never got cold enough for them to ask to share body heat. Their house was very well insulated, curse them and their building skills. But Finan had asked, he was very drunk but he had actually asked. And Sihtric actually said I yes. </p><p>Finan watched as Sihtric’s chest went up and down, steady and strong. The Dane slept soundly, he didn’t stir or make any noise. All was calm, Finan fell back into sleep before he even knew it had happened. </p><p>—————</p><p>Sihtric woke up peacefully, his head was settled on Finans chest. A strong arm was draped across his torso, he was wrapped around the Irishman. Their legs tangled together. Not that he was complaining. </p><p>Finan was asleep, snoring softly. Sihtric wanted to stay like this, he really did, but he didn’t know if Finan would want to wake up cuddling him. So he gently removed Finans arm from around him, it was not an easy task. Finan grunted slightly, clearly missing the heat and comfort, as Sihtric untangled himself from the other man. </p><p>Sihtric climbed out of the bed and softly toed across the room to the door. Before leaving he looked back at the Irishman, admiring him while he could without judgement. He wished he could wake up in that bed with that man every day. Finally he walked out the door and softly closed it, trying not to wake the other man.</p><p>First Sihtric walked to the outer door, looking outside. It was almost sunrise, the soft golden light almost there. He decided to start his ‘nightly’ routine, which today, would take place in the morning. </p><p>Sihtric went to his room to wash his face. Cursing himself for not doing it the night before. He used the water cold, normally he would warm it, but the cold was good to wake him up. He took a small bar of soap in his hands and lathered his face, he used a rag and the water to wash it off. Next he took the rag, flipped it the other way and used the soap clinging to it to clean the dark from around his eyes. </p><p>Sihtric felt his hair, the long locks flowing down his head to his shoulders. He missed the braids that normally kept it out of his way. But he just couldn’t bring himself to put them back in, not until he deserved them again. </p><p>He put a new layer of color around his eyes, that much he could do. He lifted his shirt over his head and looked down at the bruises that covered his abdomen. He stared for a moment or two before finding a clean shirt and putting on his vest and arm bands. </p><p>Sihtric was unsure if Finan was still sleeping, so just in case, he kept quite quiet. Not that he normally wasn’t, occasionally if the two men were both up they would hum and sing a tune or two. The times that happened were some of his favorite memories. </p><p>He decided to grab a bit to eat from the cooking place Finan liked more than he should. He went with a generic piece of bread, then he walked outside to eat and watch the sunrise. It was cold but he’d manage, he wasn’t planning on staying outside long. </p><p>—————</p><p>Finan opened his eyes and then slightly panicked when Sihtric was no longer laying on or beside him. After a moment he calmed and rationalized his thoughts. The Dane must have woken up and went to get ready. Was the other man drunk enough to remember what happened last night? </p><p>Questions popped into Finans head, was the man embarrassed? Did he regret staying? Would he want to pretend it never happened? Annoyed by his brain Finan pushed the ideas away and got up. Climbing out of bed he switched into a fresh pair of pants and a shirt. He pulled on his vest and holsters then placed his sword and daggers into their places. </p><p>His stomach growled, reminding him how he didn’t eat the day before and should probably eat something soon. He went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple from a basket on the kitchen. They would need to pick more apples from the trees outside soon, it would become cold in the next few weeks. Good God, he loves this kitchen. He most likely should eat more than a measly apple but he digressed. </p><p>His mind went back to Sihtric, where was the lad?<br/>
It seemed the man was always on his mind whether it was on the battlefield, or even just now thinking if the Dane had eaten yet. It used to bother him how much he stressed over the man, but recently he’s been accepting the way he feels toward the man. Whether or not the Dane reciprocates the feelings. As long as Sihtric is in his life Finan will be happy.</p><p>Either way Finan set his apple down on the table and went to stoke the hearth, it was quickly becoming fall and the temperature had begun dropping in the nights and early morning. He threw a few kindlings on the fire and went back to his apple. It was sweet, the ground was rich and fertile here. </p><p>Finan grabbed a large thick blanket and decided to eat outside, to watch the sunrise. As he stumbled outside he noticed a certain person sitting watching the sun. Finan smiled for a second, but then cursed under his breath. The blumbing idiot didn’t have a coat or blanket. </p><p>Finan softly walked behind the other man and sat beside him. A moment later he took half the blanket and wrapped it gently around the Dane’s shoulder. Sihtric flinched slightly, not realizing the man was even there until a blanket was draped around him. Clearly lost in thought, then noticing who was beside him he relaxed and accepted the blanket. He gently and slowly inched towards the Irishman, he hadn’t realized how cold he was until his spell was broken. </p><p>“Good morning then, Lad” Finan said the phrase in a normal tone but a hint of sarcasm dropped into it. Sihtric only turned his head and smiled, it was a soft smile, but still an improvement from the nothingness that had recently possessed him. </p><p>Finan made a face, it wasn’t completely confusion but whatever it was made Sihtric start laughing! At this Finans confused look increased, which made Sihtric laugh even more, now fully belly laughing. Finan started laughing too, not even knowing what it was towards. The two fully laughed, that is until Sihtric bent over laughing and made a grunt of pain. </p><p>Both the men stopped their rumbling, Finan riddled with worry and Sihtric bound with a new set of pain. Sihtric looked away and sighed. The sun had risen to the point everything was tinted golden. The way Sihtric had turned Finan could see all the small flecks embedded in his eyes, the dark pools he had fallen in love with. “I’m sorry,” Finan said it so quietly he worried for a second that the Dane hadn’t even heard him. Until Sihtric turned back to him with a quizzical look on his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t know better, I should have realized something was off sooner. When I noticed you were gone I should have went looking then, if I-“ Finan cut himself off and took a breath “If I would’ve done better that wouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.” Slowly Finan looked up, Sihtric was looking right into his eyes. </p><p>Sihtric then said, to Finan’s surprise, “No, I should’ve been more careful. You couldn’t have known, don’t beat yourself up about this.” Neither of them knew when it happened but sometime their hands had met.<br/>
“I want to tell you what happened…”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We were all in the tavern, drinking, laughing, a few of us were even dancing. Everyone was drunk, more than we should have been, the ale was strong. It was warm that day, the heat made the day unbearable. We were all glad the sun went away, happy to drink. I wasn’t thinking, I was drunk.” Sihtric sighed, clearly the memory was not a good thing, no part of it was. “I was going for a piss break, just walked out of the tavern went down the alley between it and the Inn. I stopped when I got into the dark, everything felt weird but I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking,” Sihtric looked at Finan like he wouldn’t believe him, like he was trying to persuade him to understand. </p><p>Finan nodded his head, he did understand, he did believe him. He had made his fair share of mistakes. Sihtric looked away and continued. “I untied my trousers, went to pull them down and the next thing I know is a bag is over my head. I tried to fight them off, there were about three of them. But I was blind and drunk, one of them had my hands. At some point I was hit in the head with something hard.” </p><p>Finan cringed slightly, the thought of Sihtric being taken and abused all while he was just on the other side of a wall. Still Sihtric kept on, “I was put on a horse, we rode for awhile. At one point we stopped, I tried to take off the bag from my head, that’s when they kicked me. At first it was just the backs of my knees but after I tried to get back up, they just kept on,” Sihtric softly put his hand over his stomach while he was talking remembering the pain. </p><p>He continued on, “I don’t remember blacking out but I woke up back on a horse. We rode for hours, then we stopped again. I was pulled off the horse, my head bagged and my wrists tied. They shoved me into a tent, tied me and left.” Finan shuttered, the entire thing made him want to cry, and hold Sihtric. His grip on the mans hand had tightened, but so had the other mans grip. “After many hours had passed Sven came into the tent, for awhile he stared at me. Then he grabbed my hair, started to pull and rip at my braids. As he did he told me him and Kjartan’s plan, along with throwing many a curse towards me. Their plan was to take prisoner of me and lure in Uhtred, when they knew they had him in their grip they’d kill me.” Finans grip had somehow gotten tighter, so much it was painful. </p><p>“I-we wouldn’t have let that happen, I’m still not sure I’m not going to find them and kill them all slowly. Which I can do if you want me too,” Finan looked at Sihtric, trying to let him know he was serious. When he turned though he saw Sihtric staring at their hands, which subconsciously still neither of them had noticed prior. “I’ve said it before, I care for you. I wouldn’t let them kill you.” Both the men were looking at their interlocked hands, not daring to look at the others eyes. </p><p>“I know, and I care for you too.” At this comment Finans eyes flitted to the Danes face, trying to see if there was any hint of a lie on it. There wasn’t. The two men were hesitant, if the other was thinking something different it could end up in a load of trouble. </p><p>In the world they lived in to be a homosexual was a sin. In both religions, though for the pagans it was much less severe. The Catholics faith told them that it was punishable by death, a very serious crime. If one of the men was to confess their feelings and the other not reciprocate—if they do chose to—they could have the other man killed. </p><p>The men continued to look into each other’s eyes, searching for something. Anything that could give away a clue or hint. There was a small bruise on Sihtric’s left cheekbone, somehow Finans thumb came to rest upon it the rest of his fingers sliding into the hair behind his ear. His thumb swiped lightly across the bruise. It was a tender moment. Finans eyes rested upon the Danes face but not his eyes anymore. Sihtric’s gaze was locked onto Finans lips. </p><p>In a rush of passion and force Sihtric quickly grabbed onto Finans face and pulled the man closer to him, bringing his lips to the Irishman’s. After a second he pulled away, unable to meet Finans eyes. Both the men both still had their hands resting on the others face, Finan took the hand by Sihtric’s ear and slid it down to the Danes chin, gently tipping it forward. He waited for Sihtric to look up at him. When he finally did Finan, much more softly this time, brought his lips to the Danes. </p><p>It was slightly uncomfortable but the moment their lips touched it was a bliss. They moved themselves to make it more comfortable and continued to kiss. The two men didn’t think about anything in that moment just the way their lips felt against each other. After a few moments Sihtric pulled away, needing to take a breath. The two men smiled at each other still holding on to the other, Finan started to laugh. It was an easy soft laugh though, as if something was funny at the moment. </p><p>“I thought I was just imagining those looks, turns out I wasn’t.” Finan’s laughter got more hardy and loud, Sihtric joined in. After a few moments Finan continued, no longer laughing, “I didn’t want to get my hopes up, by thinking you’d be interested in me. If I let myself believe that there was a chance…” he trailed off. Looking up his eyes met Sihtric’s once more. The Dane had a look of sincerity, joy and maybe a hint of sorrow. </p><p>“I was scared you didn’t feel like that about me. I kept trying to get you to notice, but I might have been too subtle.” Sihtric sighed softly, he had never had a real relationship before, so he had no idea how to start one. “I want to make sure, you want this correct? You want to be with me? If not I understand, I wouldn’t want to be with me. I don’t talk much and I can’t cook like you do, your so good and you were a prince! I’m nothing like any royal would be, are you sure you want me?” Finan’s heart melted and also broke at Sihtric thinking he wouldn’t want him. Of course he wanted him! The man might not be able to cook but he could build, Finan liked the easy silence they shared. But he truly cared about the other man, he wanted to be with him.</p><p>“Yes. I want to do this with you, I’ve wanted to for months. I can’t say it’ll be easy, or that I know how to do this but I want it.” Finan was looking directly into the dark pools he had grown so fond of. He truly wanted this, no matter the cost. Sihtric smiled lightly, “As do I. I want this too.” </p><p>———————</p><p>The sun was high in the sky, it was nearly noon. Finan and Sihtric decided to pick apples before they went bad, it was nearing fall meaning they had to be picked quickly. They had a few trees maybe seven or eight, but they all produced many large and good apples. The two decided they would be able to pick them all by themselves, they were quite efficient. The two also wanted to be able to stare and make flirty comments to the other. </p><p>They weren’t quite comfortable with everything yet, they had only kissed that morning. Both of the men didn’t exactly know how this worked, but they were trying. The process of picking apples went like this; They chose a tree to pick from, Sihtric climbed up the tree like the monkey he was, Finan stood under the treetrunk while Sihtric was climbing, just in case he fell. Then he went to grab one of the large baskets they used to hold the apples, Sihtric would throw down any he could grab safely—at one point in a previous year he had tried to climb all the way to the end of a branch and fell—for the apples he couldn’t reach Sihtric would just shake the branch until it fell. He started keeping track of how many times an apple would fall on Finans head.</p><p>After they had gotten all the apples off of one tree Finan would put his basket down and Sihtric would make his way down the tree. Finan always stood below him, always watching the Danes feet so he could catch him if he slipped. Then the two would pick up the basket of apples, take it inside and empty it into really whatever they could find, and go back outside. Then they started in another tree. </p><p>After they had done a few trees, maybe three or four. They noticed a few bees flying around, but didn’t think much of it. They continued on to the next tree, they repeated the steps. Finan stands at the bottom while Sihtric climbs, then he went to grab a basket and Sihtric went to the first branch. They finished that branch and kept on, moving to a higher branch, this was one of the tallest trees. The two weren’t paying very close attention to the apples and trees, more to each other and making jokes. Until a few bees started to fly past Sihtric, Finan had also started to notice. Then they had all the apples the could grab, so Sihtric shook the branch. At that moment Finan saw it. A bee hive, in a branch not far above Sihtric’s head. If he continued to shake the branch it was very possible it would fall on him. </p><p>“Stop! Sihtric stop!” Finan dropped the basket and immediately started yelling. Bees started flying out of the nest and looking around for what was angering them. Sihtric still had no idea why he was stopping, giving Finan a confused look. “Above you! There’s a bee nest! You need to come down now!” Finan was aware of people being allergic to bees but even if you weren’t if that many of them stung someone, they could die. Sihtric looked up, his eyes widening when he saw the large nest and swarm above him, at the same time they noticed him. The bees started to fly towards Sihtric. </p><p>He had no time to climb down, but there were no branches immediately below him. If he jumped and landed in his feet he could easily sprain or break something. But Finan was there! “Finan, come directly below me! I need you to catch me!” Finan looked up at him with wide eyes, but then he must have realized it was the only choice. So he nodded his head and put out his arms. Sihtric then slid off the branch. </p><p>Everything was in slow motion, he could see the bees flying toward him, the branches around him, the sun going into his eyes. But then he directed his eyes towards Finan, he trusted the man. With his life, with his love, and now he trusted him to catch him. A moment later he was jolted into the mans arms, he haven’t meant to land bridal style in the Irishman’s hold, but he was. Finan immediately started checking the man over for stings, finding only a small few. </p><p>Sihtric chuckled a bit at the man, they had been to battle together many times, of course they always checked over everyone and each other but to be checked to vigorously after just bees, it made him laugh. He then took his hands and placed them on both sides of Finans face. It took a moment or two but Finans gaze finally met Sihtric’s. “I’m alright, I promise you.” Sihtric smiled lightly, still in Finans arms. </p><p>“I know, it just scared me. I don’t want to lose you to some bloody bee bastards.” His tone was dark and harsh at the end of the sentence but he spoke everything softly. The two men looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments before bringing their lips together. It was again slightly awkward considering the position but it was nice. It was only a soft, gentle kiss, also a short kiss. They broke away and Finan kindly put Sihtric down, but held onto the mans hand.  “Guess we’ll have to continue apples later. We should go eat something.” The two smiled at each other, grabbed the baskets and went to their home. Together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sorry I’m taking FOREVER to write these chapters but I’m planning to post every Monday. I really enjoy hearing what you all think in the comments. I want to do a few cute scenes like the Apple one in this book because I’m a HUGE fluff fan, so I’d you have any suggestions add a comment or DM me on insta (@KruegerKid153) <br/>&lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finan and Sihtric had went to their separate beds that night, both wishing they weren’t but not wanting to push anything. Sihtric had been home for just two days, though it seemed like more. The bruises littering his body were fading, the ones on his face almost gone, but his stomach would likely be bruised for a while longer.  </p><p>Finan woke up in a cold sweat, he didn’t quite remember all of his nightmare but could still feel the harsh grip it left on his mind. Some part of the dream included pain and death. The one part of the nightmare he could remember clearly was these horrible things, they weren’t happening to him like normal, but they were to Sihtric. The man had been taken in his sleep, Finan watched as terrible pain was inflicted to the Dane while Finan was helpless, forced to watch. </p><p>Finan had nightmares quite often, many times it was about death, battles, and more often than not the slave ship. His dreams were never good, always had a bad message, he constantly woke up shaking or crying. He hadn’t told anyone about it, not anyone here at least. </p><p>The Irishman decided he would go get something to drink, waking up nearly every morning at the brink of dawn made Finan quite the morning person. He was well aware that Sihtric was much more of a night owl, the Dane could stay up forever but would sleep till well into the morning. The two men were very aware of how the other slept and when the other went to bed and woke up, though Sihtric wasn’t sure why Finan was always up so early. There were times when the men would meet so early in the morning Sihtric would be about to go to bed and Finan was just waking up. </p><p>When Finan woke up he would almost always check Sihtric’s room to see if the man was sleeping. The Dane when extremely tired would sleep quite heavy but in days where he was anxious or uneasy he would wake to a creak. Finan had learned that Sihtric’s breathing was different depending on how he was sleeping, light and relatively quick when he was anxious and deep and slow when he was relaxed. On the days when Sihtric was sleeping lightly Finan would make a bigger effort to be quiet. The hallway between their rooms and the kitchen had a creak four paces from Finans room, it was loud enough to have woken Sihtric up more than once. </p><p>One night in particular Finan had woken up from a bad nightmare, he then went to get a drink and check how early it was, they had only been home from battle a few days. Finan was unaware at that point of the creak and stepped on it, Sihtric had woken immediately and before he knew it Finan was pressed against the wall with a dagger to his throat. Sihtric noticed who it was very quickly and removed the knife, apologizing profusely. Finan got him to do the dishes for a week after that. He didn’t make the mistake of stepping there very often.</p><p>On this night when Finan went to check on Sihtric the Dane wasn’t in his bed. This immediately worried Finan and he quickly entered and searched the room, but Sihtric wasn't inside. Panic was bubbling in his thoughts, swiftly Finan went into the kitchen and living space, fearing his nightmare true. His gaze flitted across the space where their table was, the fireplace and the benches near it, the rack they used to store coats and extra weapons. Sihtric’s coat was still there, meaning he was most likely still in the house, if someone hadn’t taken him. More panic ensued in Finans chest, his breath becoming rapid and laboured.</p><p>He turned around to the kitchen and his panic eased but only slightly, it could be his mind tricking him, this could all be a nightmare. Finan hesitantly walked you the man who looked like Sihtric. The man blinked at him several times, giving him a very questioning face. When Finan finally got close enough, he reached his hands out and put them on the mans shoulders. His hands moved down to the Danes biceps, then the mans forearms and hands moved up, bending. Finans hands met the others, they were calloused from working. Rough and large, they fit together so well, he had felt these hands in his before. </p><p>It was Sihtric. He was really there and alright. Finan’s grip tightened and he looked up, into the dark pools of the man in front of him. Tears started to form in his eyes, Finan normally would try to hide them, but not with Sihtric. His hands released the Danes, moving them to the sides of his face. His thumb landing on the bruise again. The khol that normally surrounded the Danes eyes was washed off, his hair was still unbraided, but had been pulled into a loose ponytail. Finans hand moved down to feel the hair, it was soft. Sihtric’s hand moved also coming to lay lightly on the Irishman’s cheek, his ring finger resting under the mans chin. Lightly his finger slipped across Finans beard, it was quite soothing. </p><p>Finan’s hand left Sihtric’s hair and went to his neck, pulling the man into him, their foreheads touching, eyes closed. Tears slipped down Finans cheeks, he let out a quiet sob. “I thought I was going to lose you…” his words came out in bursts, laboured, mournful. “I had wanted to tell you for months, I was,” Finan cut himself off. His sobs were becoming louder, heavier. “I was so scared I would never see you again and I would’ve never told you.” When he looked up Sihtric’s eyes were on his, the Danes other hand had came to rest on Finans neck at some point. Sihtric pulled the Irishman closer to him, making him look at him. This action made him realize the tears in Sihtric’s eyes too. </p><p>“You’ve told me now. I know now.” Sihtric’s tone was fiery, he was trying to tell the other man that he couldn’t think like that anymore. Finan knew that, if you thought too much into the past you’d never leave it. You’d be stuck there, stuck regretting everything and then you’d forget to try. You’d be stuck in an endless cycle of never moving on. Finan was stuck for a large part of the time he was on the slave ship. “I’m here now, you told me, I know now. I’m here as a friend, as family,” Sihtric paused using his thumb to wipe away a few of Finans tears. Sihtric took a deep breath and continued, “as a lover, if you want me.” </p><p>Finan looked into the mans eyes, knowing if he wanted him, this would be his chance. They would no longer be an unspoken agreement. They would no longer look for a warm mouth after battles, they would have each other. And it would be the two of them, they would no longer be alone in this fight, in any fight. </p><p>Finan used his hand resting on Sihtric’s neck to pull the man into him. The two men stood there, pressed against one another, the dark pools staring right into its match. Finan blinked and then brought their lips together. This was it, he had made his choice. He would no longer fight alone, he would have Sihtric right beside him. Every step of the way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sorry this chapter is so short! It just didn’t feel right trying to add something else to the chapter. I debated ending the story here for a few days but I decided that I’ll continue and do a few more chapters. It’ll probably be just fluff, but I’m planning a sequel already. I hope you all understand &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sihtric woke to thrashing and moaning beside him. Quick to work he pushed himself up, he used a calming voice and gentle hands to wake the man beside him. It had become slightly routine, Finan would have a nightmare, Sihtric would wake up and calm the Irishman. Sometimes Finan would wake and other times he would just calm and pull himself into Sihtric’s arms and sleep more peacefully. </p><p>The first night the two spent together Finan didn’t have a nightmare, he was exhausted from someone and their activities. They both slept well and though Finan woke much earlier than Sihtric, he stayed until the Dane woke too. They shared a enjoyable morning together. The second night was not as pleasant, Finan’s nightmares woke Sihtric. The Dane was half asleep and didn’t realize what was happening at first, so he grabbed his sword. Then went to wake Finan and realized it was the Irishman making the commotion. He didn’t know exactly what to do, Sihtric was blessed in the way of rarely having nightmares. So the Dane began shaking Finan, not smart. </p><p>That night Finan’s nightmare had been of the slave ship. So when he awoke to being shaken, he took Sihtric’s shoulder and pushed him off their bed. He then grabbed the sword earlier picked up by Sihtric and nearly stabbed his lover. When he finally came to what was happening the Irishman apologized profusely, dropping the sword and rushing to help the man up. After they both were awake and standing the men embraced each other, apologizing, then holding each other they talked about what had happened. </p><p>It was tough for Finan to tell Sihtric about his nightmares, he had only ever told one person before. He only told the Dane because he trusted him more than anyone else in the world. They decided it was early enough for them to just stay awake, they ate and sat together for awhile. Just enjoying the company of the other. </p><p>This night was one of the nights that Finan woke up too. The first thing he saw was Sihtric’s eyes, he had truly fallen in love with the dark pools. Some days Finan would talk about his nightmare, other days he wouldn’t, Sihtric never asked. It was tough for him to see his lover in so much pain over something he had no control over, he had started to research things that might make the man sleep better. He currently was carving a ‘dream catcher’, Sihtric hoped it would help. <br/>Finan’s hand found Sihtric’s under the covers, it was calloused and rough, the feeling grounded him. Sihtric’s thumb always found it's way to Finans wrist, searching for a pulse. His fingers only leaving when his lovers heart rate went back to normal. </p><p>The two men had moved most of Sihtric’s belongings into what was once Finans room, now their room. Finan currently has his head resting on Sihtric’s chest, his arm wrapped around the Dane. He laid on his stomach, his bare back in the out and open. Sihtric had one hand above him, resting just on top of his head, his other hand was snaked around Finan. Sihtric’s fingers lightly flitted across the scars littering the Irishman’s back, he hated that they were there, but loved them only for being apart of Finan. His and slowly moved upwards, coming to rest on Sihtric’s hair. The thick coarse hair was braided back nicely, it was done each morning, by Finan.</p><p>——————</p><p>“Your hair is so beautiful.” The words came out in a whisper, but they were true. Finan lay on his back while Sihtric’s head rested on his chest, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the Danes long soft hair. Even though his braids had still not been put back in since his capture multiple weeks ago Sihtric had still taken good care of his hair. Recently he had just been putting in two bumps on top each other, very similar to how he had before just without the braids. </p><p>Finan knew why Sihtric refused to put the braids back in; it was a pride, respect, and strength thing, but Finan couldn’t understand why Sihtric still believed that he didn’t deserve them. Even before Finan realized his feelings for the Dane he knew the man was unbelievably strong, inside and out, but while becoming best of friends and falling for the man the Irishman started to truly recognized how much the man had really been through. Finan had been trying to figure out how to convince Sihtric to let him braid his hair for days. In Ireland Finan had two little sisters, both being some of the things he missed the most about his old life. Being a big brother meant lots of time spent having tea parties, giving piggyback rides and braiding their hair. So the Irishman knew many intricate braids that could be woven into Sihtric’s hair, he just needed to ask his lover to let him. </p><p>“I was thinkin’ when your ready, of course, I’d like to be the one to put your braids in.” Sihtric moved his body so he could look at the Irishman, seeing the look on his face told him that his lover was not joking. </p><p>“Do you even know how to braid?” Sihtric asked the question looking straight into Finans eyes. Finan started laughing. </p><p>It took a few moments, he had to stop rumbling first but then answered, “Of course I do, I’m not incompetent.” Finan has a smile on his face, he too was looking into Sihtric’s eyes. The two had a little contest for a few moments, it was soft and light. The whole mood in the room was joyful, domestic even. Sihtric finally broke the gaze looking down to Finans lips.</p><p>“Alright then, you may braid my hair once I am ready.” His eyes flitted back to Finans before he brought their lips together in a soft kiss. </p><p>It had taken a few more days, but one night Finan walked into their room and Sihtric was sitting in the edge of their bed. A comb rested in his lovers hand, when Sihtric noticed his lovers presence he turned and held out the comb, along with a leather elastic rope. Finan made no haste to climb behind the man and start combing. After about five minutes of brushing all the knots out of the Danes hair, he started splitting it into sections. Then, he started braiding.</p><p>It took about an hour but the two kept a friendly conversation between them. An occasional laugh ruptured from a line the other had said. It was a truly wonderful moment. At the end there was a beautiful braid woven into Sihtric’s hair, and Finans fingers were more sore than they had been in years. The two smiled at each other, their love was very large. </p><p>———————-</p><p>The calmness of the moment was suddenly broken when a knock at their front door was heard, Finan being the titled owner of the house went to open the door. Sihtric took a moment longer but was still close behind his lover. When they reached the door it was opened to find Osferth. They invited him in and while Finan and Osferth went to the table Sihtric started the fire. </p><p>Osferth normally had some type of smile or grin on his face but today, in this moment it was anything but. His head was turned down, indicating he had some type of bad news. Finan decided he wasn’t in the mood for sugar, so he told him upright. “Spit it out Baby Monk, don’t sugarcoat it, what’s going on?” </p><p>Osferth sighed before responding, “Alfred’s a mission for Uhtred, meaning were to go along.” This wasn’t uncommon—though it made Uhtred in a bad mood—but the fact that Osferth had to tell them, especially the way he had, and so early in the morning pointed that it was a more difficult and serious mission. “There’s a group of Danish men near the border of Wessex, they’ve got a whole town hostage. They’re demanding gold and silvers, lots of it. If it was any other place it wouldn’t be a big deal. But then there’s the fact that Aelswith took the children to visit and are still there, meaning their hostages too.” Osferth paused for a moment, looking up to see the two men’s faces. Sihtric had come to the table somewhere in the middle of his explanation. </p><p>Finan had a thoughtful expression, thinking of the children in the town. Anytime he saw a child his brain would remind him of his siblings. Sihtric had a different look, he knew what was coming. Osferth continued, “We don’t believe the Danes are aware of the Queen and children in the town but when they do they will definitely raise the price more. Alfred wants Uhtred to send in a spy or two,” at this both men looked at Sihtric, his head down. He knew this was coming, he was the epitome of a Dane, and one of the least recognizable. </p><p>Finan then added, “If Sihtric is going to go in there, I’m going with him.” His tone was stern, very stern. But Osferth has direct orders from Uhtred to make sure Finan knew he was not going in as a spy. </p><p>“Finan, you know you can’t. Your too well known, Sihtric is a good spy, he blends in, unlike you. You know Uhtred is only not allowing you to go for your safety.” The Irishman sighed, knowing this was the truth. “Alfred asked the spy be sent on their way this evening.” </p><p>—————— </p><p>I’m SO extremely sorry this has taken literally forever to write, I’ve been working just about everyday and also my mental health has just been pretty bad. So I’m sorry this is two and a half weeks late. This will be the end of this book, but I’m planning a sequel! It might take a little while for me to get it ready and really write it but I hope you enjoyed this story enough to read the next! </p><p>Again I’m sorry for the wait, I love you! Have a wonderful day, &lt;3</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first fic and I’m super nervous to post it but I hope you like it and keep reading! &lt;3</p><p>Also I don’t have a beta so I’m sorry if I missed any mistakes</p></blockquote></div></div>
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